KY here I come......

That is a dirty title....LOL

I am flying to Kentucky today for work.  Excited, yes....why?  Because I might get to finish book 2 in the 50 shades of grey trilogy.  After moving, unpacking, stressing about my new job....I am excited for just a few evenings of me time....wine and mommy porn....LOL

Mostly, I will be in airports over the next few days, but so be it.  I am going to miss my family so much, but when I get back we will have a big family fun day at the zoo!  And I am excited that this year there will be NO breastfeeding and my baby girl can walk and react to what she sees.  This is going to be SO fun!

I have been a serious bitch lately, not on purpose.  I am hormonal, bloated....crampy.  Thought I was going to get my period weeks ago...but nope, FINALLY TODAY....this will make traveling so much more enjoyable (sarcasm central!)  But I hate the feeling!  LIke I can't control my emotions, I hate being so edgy with my more than wonderful family,

I love my husband so much, he is so amazing in the line of adversity or my bitchiness :)

Can't wait to get home to him again!

Bustin' a move and leaking

Part 1 - Bustin' a move and leaking
Friday night I spent at JTB's "sorry for party rockin" Birthday/Going away party!  We started the night with a shot of Patron and all things get better from there.  We drank, we yelled at people on Main St. from his apartment windows. (Our old apartment, the Penthouse on Main)  Then we went to the Main St. Pub to sing, and sing we did!  We sang "don't stop believing", JTB requested that I sing "Stay" by lisa loeb for his, so I did.  And then I sang "2am" by Anna N. for him :)   We sobbed and hugged like school girls, it was so emotional....or was it the free beers we snagged in true US fashion that tipped us just over that emotional edge?  I don't know, but our eyes were leaking because our hearts hurt.  We decided at that point we needed to bust a move, so we headed to the Lantern to own the dance floor :)  IT was great!!!

Part 2- Bustin a move and leaking
Saturday started our MOVE.  My husband, daughter and I made our first move as a family.  Unfortunately it is not to a house...hopefully by next spring :)  But the new apartment is larger in some ways, smaller in others, but allows more room for entertaining and is really close to Downtown, parks, movie theater, daycare :)  It should be a nice summer and fall being so close to everything !  THe move was hectic, as I am leaving for another business trip this week in Kentucky.  I wanted everything done and somewhat organized.  I have some great friends!  I might not have a lot of close friends, but the ones I have are AMAZING!!!  We got help moving and organizing.  I have girlfriends that are cleaning my old apartment while I am away, so it is ready for our checkout.

The only real downfall at this point, is my allergies also flaired up this weekend and I have a sinus headache from hell...also, now that I am almost 33 and have had 3 kids....I am now one of those women that leaks when I sneeze....I mean, men have no idea the embarrassment that women endure after having children!!!  Ugh....now to find grey hair I am sure :)

50 shades deeper....

So, I have begun book 2..."Fifty Shades Darker".... and my husband started the first book today.  I am so pleased that he would even try it.  He is interested to see what has my body humming in overdrive these days, and I love him more for taking interest : )

I am trying to understand for myself why this *Christian* character appeals to me.  It certainly isn't his past or his rich family.  His drive and ambition, his sense of self, his whole dimeanor is quite appealing.  His tastes, his sheer power....regardless of the money factor...though to be honest money is power, so that certainly helps his boistrous endeavers.   I wouldn't turn down a great home, great clothes, etc, etc, etc.   I really like how in control he is and that he outwardly shows it.

Miss Steele.....well, she is a good girl who knows nothing of her own sexuality, thinking "vanilla" is normal and the only way.....well doesn't she get a surprise :)   And at this point, she is enjoying it more (spoiler if you aren't to book 2).   I understand she isn't submissive really, she is a little sassy and enjoys giving just a bit of control over....that is her perogative. 

The submissive has the power, a Dominant is not a Dominant, if they do not have someone or something to dominate....right?!   Well, part true.   Respectfulness is a must regardless, working to always get what you want is not okay.....power exchange is to be a mutually beneficial arrangement !   Communication and Compromise (negotiations) are as big a part as any other relationship, and TRUST IS KEY!   Do not break that trust.

I guess my real irritation is with romance novels in general...always the handsome, rich, deeply troubled man and the sweet, innocent girl that helps him find the light......same story, different author every single time.   This really has prompted me to write and consider my own story lines.  Truly, life can be so much better than fiction....I could roll my own story out with some added fictional twists and make it so much better........

And why is the MALE never submissive.....come on now....equal rights!!!

So, I will continue into the shades of Grey, and I will let you know what my husband thinks :)

And I am going to start my writing again and maybe post some stuff here.

50 shades of .....GREY FOR SURE!!!

There is alot being said about this 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy, though I haven't yet listened to any of it.  I know there is a huge following, I know there are a lot of people who love and hate it, but I haven't read one review....NOT ONE!!   I was asked by my best-mate, JTB if I had heard of it...I hadn't.  He said I might like it based on the other things he knows I have read, so I decided to give it a try.  I bought all 3 books before a business trip with the intent to get at least the first book read...mission accomplished.

I read the first 3 pages the night I bought the books and can say I was highly unimpressed!  At that point, JTB pointed out that they started from a Twilight Fan Fiction.....I died, almost got sick and had to seriously look at whether I was actually going to read it.   I won't mention that again, as just the thought truly makes me dislike the concept....I am not a huge Twilight fan and refuse to read the books, for the record.

As I got into the book a little more, though the writing style isn't maybe my favorite, Miss Steele is a lovable girl, I think her characteristics help many woman recognize themselves a bit.  She is sweet, sassy, hard working, adventurous, clumsy and most of all a hopeless romantic.  I know this has been called "Mommy Porn"....I can see that.   I am a Mother and I love to read some paranormal romance via Christine Feehan from time to time.  But this book appeals to me even more, because I am a bi-sexual, BDSM lifestyle switch. 

Now from that stand point......(1st book review only)
THIS IS FICTION!  Christian Grey....though a great fantasy man.....DOES NOT EXIST!!! {that I know of...but if he does...PLEASE COME FIND ME :) }

From my standpoint....Christian does most everything by the book, aka formal protocol....other than the stalking part :)  

Here is where I am NOT okay:  I agree with Miss Steele, that Mrs. Robinson is a pedophile!!  ANYTHING OF THIS NATURE WITH A MINOR IS NOT OKAY!!!!! EVER!!!    As much as a part of me has analyzed and continues to analyze the factors that bring someone into this type of lifestyle, in or out of the bedroom, and believe many people do have childhood traumas they are acting on.  This takes that way to far and though it may help Miss Steele and Us love him and want to help him....it is seriously messed up!

Onto the "RRofP".......OH HOW I WISH!!!   Just the idea of all that equipment makes me squirm a bit :)

THis is a romance story with a kink in the sex....that is it thus far.   I am happy that it is hitting "vanilla" readers, but wish it wasn't so romantisized and over the top...because that really doesn't help anyone understand those of us who enjoy other flavors : )  Yes, we still enjoy vanilla too...at least sometimes.

Onto book 2......

6 week review

I have now been a Mrs. for 6 weeks : )   I have started my new career and it is deliciously cheesy!  I have traveled for work, as has my husband.  We have only been home together half of our marriage at this point, but we are still in love and the time away and forced us to continually up our communication skills and in the end, is very positive for us.

We are preparing to move to our new apartment......UGH!!!  I hate moving...I really just want to a nice house and to settle down :)  You know, I am old school.  I want the American dream of buying a great house (that is big enough for our future) and NEVER moving again......oh to dream.  We looked at homes in our area, but the market is so crazy, either low end needs lots of repair and old...or pretty high end....and we just don't make enough to do either.  I guess that makes us part of the lower middle class..

We are planning our honeymoon for this fall before my work gets really busy.  I am excited to see what we decide to do.  It won't be anything too expensive, just a start to our hopefully many trips together.  I am very excited to possibly do some international travel for work and for my husband to come along :)

Our children are growing, growing, growing.....our little girl walks, climbs, communicates.  The boys are finishing the school year, and will soon by 1st and 2nd graders.  This year I marked my 9th Mother's Day....I just can't believe that.

My health.....well, I feel fine, but my exercise and eating routine did not become habit and I can just tell that I have gained the weight and inches back.  I am very upset with myself, but plan to start again on June 1st!

Life is good, always a little rocky, but never too terrible.

I hope to keep a better posting timeline now.

31 days left!

31 days = 1 month

One month left before I am Mrs.   The only fears I have about the wedding are the little details, that I won't get my bouquet finished, the decorations won't be done right, the food, etc won't be right.  Just the little things.  I know we will get married, even if things don't fit right....we will have photos even if I look horrible...we will eat even if it doesn't look the way I would like or had imagined.  And that is him speaking...the calm one in our relationship.    I WANT:  I want cotton candy martinis, cupcakes of many colors on pedastles, great snacks, attractive drink area, to fit perfectly and lovely in my dress, to have all the words spoken correctly and with meaning.   DETAILS.

What matters is that he looks at me lovingly and I can see the VOWS in his eyes as he takes me as His forever!!   That he understands that I am with him for life, no matter what comes our way.  That our families, friends and especially our children see a loving relationship that they can grow in.  That I wake up that morning his fiance and go to sleep that night his wife.

I am so stressed about my work situation and I know that is making the little wedding details seem all that more HUGE.  I worry about our living situation if I can't find anything.  I cry that we won't have a honeymoon, when I just want a few days with him alone....we need it, we deserve it.  We love our family, but we just want a little time alone.

I worry about possible family tension during the wedding....or just random chaos that I can't control.  I don't want to be miserable and stressed on the day!

Lord help me get thru this : )

40 days : Daily reflections before I am MRS.

40 days left.  In a little over a month I will be Mrs. (again).  Oh the things I have come thru and learned since I was a Mrs.   I have been so excited, a bit stressed, a bit relieved.  I can honestly say that I have had COLD FEET!  I have discussed it with my Mr., we discuss pretty much everything....and wonderful change from the previous Mr's in my life.

I have enjoyed my singledom, my grey areas and certainly being His Fiance!  We have come through many obsticals already.  My love and respect grow for him constantly!  I know we have differences, and that isn't a breaking point for me.  My worries lie that something will be a breaking point for him!  I always worry that something won't be enough, or will be too much and will break our deal.  I know this is me, I know I can not let my fear create a self fulfilling prophecy!!!

I am excited to be His Mrs. in 40 days, to start our life as husband and wife, Dominant/submissive, equal partners and more.  He truly is my best friend!  He is more understanding of me, than I ever am of myself...or him, probably!  He doesnt' see my crazy the way i do.  He doesn't think I am selfish, and yet he is SO giving!!

Today our daughter turns 1!  One whole year of parenting together.  Tomorrow marks a year since he bought my engagement ring....I never knew...not for 6 weeks, that he wanted to take that step.  I remember before our daughter was born, worrying about being a single parent, then he stayed and expressed his love for myself and our daughter.  Then I remember thinking he was just around out of a sense of obligation...he is that kind of great guy!!  And then he popped the question.  No fancy words, no exciting plan, just the strong knowledge that he wanted me as his Forever, One time only Wife!  And I couldn't say no!  I knew I loved him and only hoped that we would continue to grow together, because I wanted to be his wife.

40 days and it will be so!