31 days left!

31 days = 1 month

One month left before I am Mrs.   The only fears I have about the wedding are the little details, that I won't get my bouquet finished, the decorations won't be done right, the food, etc won't be right.  Just the little things.  I know we will get married, even if things don't fit right....we will have photos even if I look horrible...we will eat even if it doesn't look the way I would like or had imagined.  And that is him speaking...the calm one in our relationship.    I WANT:  I want cotton candy martinis, cupcakes of many colors on pedastles, great snacks, attractive drink area, to fit perfectly and lovely in my dress, to have all the words spoken correctly and with meaning.   DETAILS.

What matters is that he looks at me lovingly and I can see the VOWS in his eyes as he takes me as His forever!!   That he understands that I am with him for life, no matter what comes our way.  That our families, friends and especially our children see a loving relationship that they can grow in.  That I wake up that morning his fiance and go to sleep that night his wife.

I am so stressed about my work situation and I know that is making the little wedding details seem all that more HUGE.  I worry about our living situation if I can't find anything.  I cry that we won't have a honeymoon, when I just want a few days with him alone....we need it, we deserve it.  We love our family, but we just want a little time alone.

I worry about possible family tension during the wedding....or just random chaos that I can't control.  I don't want to be miserable and stressed on the day!

Lord help me get thru this : )

40 days : Daily reflections before I am MRS.

40 days left.  In a little over a month I will be Mrs. (again).  Oh the things I have come thru and learned since I was a Mrs.   I have been so excited, a bit stressed, a bit relieved.  I can honestly say that I have had COLD FEET!  I have discussed it with my Mr., we discuss pretty much everything....and wonderful change from the previous Mr's in my life.

I have enjoyed my singledom, my grey areas and certainly being His Fiance!  We have come through many obsticals already.  My love and respect grow for him constantly!  I know we have differences, and that isn't a breaking point for me.  My worries lie that something will be a breaking point for him!  I always worry that something won't be enough, or will be too much and will break our deal.  I know this is me, I know I can not let my fear create a self fulfilling prophecy!!!

I am excited to be His Mrs. in 40 days, to start our life as husband and wife, Dominant/submissive, equal partners and more.  He truly is my best friend!  He is more understanding of me, than I ever am of myself...or him, probably!  He doesnt' see my crazy the way i do.  He doesn't think I am selfish, and yet he is SO giving!!

Today our daughter turns 1!  One whole year of parenting together.  Tomorrow marks a year since he bought my engagement ring....I never knew...not for 6 weeks, that he wanted to take that step.  I remember before our daughter was born, worrying about being a single parent, then he stayed and expressed his love for myself and our daughter.  Then I remember thinking he was just around out of a sense of obligation...he is that kind of great guy!!  And then he popped the question.  No fancy words, no exciting plan, just the strong knowledge that he wanted me as his Forever, One time only Wife!  And I couldn't say no!  I knew I loved him and only hoped that we would continue to grow together, because I wanted to be his wife.

40 days and it will be so!