Last week, upon entering the Dr.'s office, I was led to the dreadful machine in the corner that tells me my weight. As if in agony, I slowly stepped on and closed my eyes. I hate this part, I hate feeling like no matter how healthy I eat or how often I am at the gym...this number never seems to reflect it. But I looked...........265............gasp! I must have been thinking about cupcakes and mentally gained a few extra pounds. Now to be honest...I don't keep a lot of track of my weight. In my blog from last year before my wedding "Puddles goes to Yoga" I kept track on inches. I still check these numbers from time to time and thought I haven't seen a decrease....I haven't seen an increase either.
I have noticed that my middle is trimming and my butt is getting higher ( I say bigger, but my husband likes it). I will always have larger legs and I am loving my running calves! In all this, I have started to look at myself in the mirror every morning and REALLY see my body. Yes, I don't like all of it, but I certainly don't hate it anymore either. I am going to continue to work on loving myself and my body!
My concern is for my daughter, I don't want her to grow up with a Mom that is always down on herself about the way she looks. I don't want her to learn negative body image from me!!! She will have enough to deal with outside our home. I want her to see a woman who is strong and happy and loves herself and her body. Someone who eats healthy and takes time to enjoy excercise. I don't want her to see someone who is upset and struggling to constantly lose weight and be some "better" version of herself.
Good values and good self image start at home. I saw my Mom struggle with her weight. She worked very hard to change eating habits and work out. And DAMN, she lost the weight and has really kept it off. I am SO proud of her! But what I realized recently is that my Mom looks great and still very much talks about disliking her body and her struggle with her weight. To me and everyone else, she looks amazing! I don't know why she can't see it, but I know I don't want to be that way. I worried about my weight at a young age, I was naturally bigger (more voluptuous) than the other girls and I was very self concsious of it. I took up smoking at 15 so I had something to do while other kids ate lunch. I remember as a Junior in high school my lunch consisted of a cigarette, one stick of beef jerky and tomato juice....god forbid I touch pizza or anything like that. But what I did in those years, ruined my metabolism later in life.
I need to make healthy choices for me, my family and our futures. Part of that is being happy with me, even if my size never changes. I can be healthy at any size!
Charmaine
Thursday, November 1, 2012
A family affair
This past Saturday I participated in the local Hobo Day 5k, this was to be the BIG ONE for me but as my training has been slower than anticipated I was just happy to put another 5k under my belt toward my goal.
It just so happened that my Mom came to visit and wanted to participate in the 5k, but NO running. She wanted to walk it. The morning was cold, but as my Mom and I prepared to leave my two sons (ages 8.5 and 7) decided they wanted to come too. I was so thrilled, I didn't care about running anymore :) As we waited for the race to begin, my youngest son decided he wanted to stay back and watch with a few co-workers of mine. I let him go (as I am sure it was because of my co-worker's cute red headed daughter that he wanted to stay....oh boy!)
We were ready! My Mom, my son and I heard the horn and took off...we jogged the first block just to get momentum. We then walked slowly being left behind the crowd. We enjoyed a nice yet brisk walk in the cool (40 degree) morning air. My legs hurt a little to start, but they always do when I am trying to run or walk on uneven terrain. We listened to music and kept track of our time on my Nike+ GPS app.
I continued to check on my son and encourage his participation :) I was a very proud Mother in this moment! We rounded mile 1.....slowly saw mile 2 and we were making good time for walking! The first 5k I did, attempting to jog a block/walk a block until I had to just walk, I finished in 55.02 and that was amazing. I know that my overall pace has slowly increased with practice. And as we came close to mile 3, I realized I could beat my last time if I could make it to the end in 10 minutes. No problem. We picked up our pace. My son and I decided to leave Grandma walking and jog/walk the last 6 blocks. We made our final turn and could see the clock counting down. He took off, yelling "we can make it Mom..." and I wasn't about to let him down...so I took off after him. I watched the clock as we came to the finish line....just barely. I came in at 55.14......but considering we really walked the entire way exept that last bit, not too bad! We walked my Mom across the line at 57 minutes and we all hugged.
So I didn't "run" the race, I completed the event with my family and now have even more support from them in my ongoing training! And I told my son that we will beat that time next year and his smile was worth every ache!
Charmaine
It just so happened that my Mom came to visit and wanted to participate in the 5k, but NO running. She wanted to walk it. The morning was cold, but as my Mom and I prepared to leave my two sons (ages 8.5 and 7) decided they wanted to come too. I was so thrilled, I didn't care about running anymore :) As we waited for the race to begin, my youngest son decided he wanted to stay back and watch with a few co-workers of mine. I let him go (as I am sure it was because of my co-worker's cute red headed daughter that he wanted to stay....oh boy!)
We were ready! My Mom, my son and I heard the horn and took off...we jogged the first block just to get momentum. We then walked slowly being left behind the crowd. We enjoyed a nice yet brisk walk in the cool (40 degree) morning air. My legs hurt a little to start, but they always do when I am trying to run or walk on uneven terrain. We listened to music and kept track of our time on my Nike+ GPS app.
I continued to check on my son and encourage his participation :) I was a very proud Mother in this moment! We rounded mile 1.....slowly saw mile 2 and we were making good time for walking! The first 5k I did, attempting to jog a block/walk a block until I had to just walk, I finished in 55.02 and that was amazing. I know that my overall pace has slowly increased with practice. And as we came close to mile 3, I realized I could beat my last time if I could make it to the end in 10 minutes. No problem. We picked up our pace. My son and I decided to leave Grandma walking and jog/walk the last 6 blocks. We made our final turn and could see the clock counting down. He took off, yelling "we can make it Mom..." and I wasn't about to let him down...so I took off after him. I watched the clock as we came to the finish line....just barely. I came in at 55.14......but considering we really walked the entire way exept that last bit, not too bad! We walked my Mom across the line at 57 minutes and we all hugged.
So I didn't "run" the race, I completed the event with my family and now have even more support from them in my ongoing training! And I told my son that we will beat that time next year and his smile was worth every ache!
Charmaine
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